We managed to find a turkey this year for our school’s Thanksgiving celebration. Turkeys are not common here in Norway–last year we had the school celebration earlier, and not until a few weeks afterward did we find a turkey in the shop. We made three very cute roast chickens instead. This year, we found a 13-pound turkey, grimacingly expensive, rearranged our fridge to thaw it out, then buttered, seasoned, trussed the legs. On Friday night, the North American students and staff gathered for a potluck feast and thankful-fors. A windy, rainy night, the sun is going down these days just before 4:00.
The fall semester is always difficult. The new students are an unknown bunch. Relationships aren’t yet established, which makes teaching more challenging. The second-year students have important coursework to complete that keeps us all in a perpetual round of deadlines, feedback, stress, and often tears, not to mention college applications, recommendation letters, long evening hours working, and the expanding darkness. This job and place are demanding even as they are rich and fruitful. Especially at this time of the year, it can be difficult to remain positive.
The way I’ve often reacted to these pressures is to double down on self-protection. I set boundaries. I won’t take on extra work. I’ll leave time in the evening for a TV show. Vigilantly I check the boxes that need ticking and I try to stop when I’ve reached good enough. But unintendedly, this defense of self sometimes adds a feeling of bitterness, self-righteousness. I find myself focusing on negatives, which doesn’t feel good.
Sometimes the teaching has the power to pull me back. By habit in the classroom, I take on a positive mindset, because teaching is a performance and I know that positivity is good for my students and makes for a better classroom atmosphere, and my brain switches its complaining track. I leave the classroom feeling better than I did when I entered.
The other day, I was working through a listening exercise with my class of advanced English language learners. It was a listening activity I had designed two years ago and am using now again, excerpts from an interview by Oprah Winfrey of Nelson Mandela. Mandela talks about humility, about being honest with oneself. He also says at one point, that we must “reject all negative visions.” I heard that in the classroom, and I nodded. I can see that in my drive to protect myself from an all-consuming workload, I’ve narrated for myself a negative story about this term. That negative story makes it more difficult to feel gratitude for the things that are good. That negative story keeps me in a position of defense and precludes actions that could improve the situation in other ways.
On Thursday night, I had planned to prep the turkey, but when I pulled it from the fridge, I found it was still half frozen. I felt my heart start beating fast, the gulp in my throat of racing anxiety, a feeling I’ve been feeling a lot this term. It turned out fine. I had enough time Friday morning to prep the bird instead, and after I ran the most frozen parts under cold water for a little while then put it back into the fridge, on Friday morning, I was able to do what I had to do.
Then Friday night, we gathered together for a feast. Students and colleagues had made green beans, Brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, sweet potato fries, mac and cheese, apple crumble, brownies. We said our thankful-fors around the room, and as the circle progressed, the faces got softer, kinder, easing into the gentleness that gratitude brings. I’m thankful to be here. I’m thankful to be making it through this difficult term and for the many positive interactions and moments there have been. We’ll all be okay.
To everyone reading, if you are celebrating Thanksgiving this coming Thursday, I wish you a wonderful holiday. To everyone else, I wish you some quiet moments of gratitude to lift you up. Best wishes for the weeks ahead,
Jimmy
Words like trees 
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